Abstinence

I've never been a fan of abstinence-only education. But I can get behind Abstinence.

Hitler, Hitting, and the Sun

I didn't write it, but I was pointed to this article because of my recent Ouch episode.

The biggest women/fascism link is a woman’s reliance on violence. Women will be the first to hit during any kind of dispute. It’s not even a percentage. It’s as much of a guarantee as it is that the sun will rise tomorrow. And as men we can all understand that the sun rises because it’s actually a star that our planet rotates around, therefore it is guaranteed to rise. We are able to remove ourselves from our personal point of view and understand that the sun isn’t rising at all. It’s actually us who are spinning around the sun. Women don’t even fucking know that.

Wow.

From:
Men Are Better Than Women

I Had To Know

30

Here are the ground rules:

• You are in an enclosed area roughly the size of a basketball court
• There are no weapons or foreign objects
• Everyone is wearing a cup (so no kicks to the groin)
• The children are merciless and will show no fear
• If a child is knocked unconscious, he is "out." The same goes for you.

Important answers on my survey:

I can kick higher than 3 feet (that might not be true).
I counted my years of judo training during 4th to 6th grade.
I've been in one fight in my life.
I counted my experience running from bees and playing Starcraft.
I've never been trampled.
I would bite, kick or eye-gouge in a fight.
To hell with morality, I'd be too busy pile-driving, crane-kicking, and bare-knuckle bashing them all the way back to kintergarten.
Yes, I would you feel morally comfortable picking up a child and using him/her as a weapon to throw at other children.

Hilarious

P has a cold/flu or something, but has still been interacting with people. One of her main problem symptoms is hoarseness. It's caused her the frustration of not being able to sing Christmas carols, or along with the iPod. She told me she was singing tenor just now, when attempting something.

And funniest of all, she can't laugh. No, that's the not the funny part. All she can manage are these low exhalations which sound exactly like Butthead (of "Beavis and" fame).

Hilarious!

Too Freakin' Funny

Porn For Girls By Girls (safe for work)

Pain and Resentment

Let me start out by saying that if you meet my father, you'll probably really like the guy. He's very personable, friendly, and good in the room. He tells funny stories. People like him.

And spending time with him makes me grind my teeth.

It's all old stories, and not very original ones. He wasn't very emotionally involved in my life after I entered my teen years. His interest in me felt centered on my academic achievement, which made me feel like he was only interested in reflected glory. When my parents marriage soured and ended, he accused me of poisoning her against him.

Wow, those words always sounded strange coming from your mother. But now that I hear you say them, I know where she's gotten all these ideas.

And while we've never really addressed any of these issues, he's tried to reach out to me. To be interested in my life. Which is horrible. I can't really spend any time with him without thinking about those things. Well, and the fact that I've heard all his funny stories over and over, so they're not fresh. Or funny.

The horrible thing for me is that the rest of my family doesn't seem to feel the same way about him. He gets invited to all the family birthdays, holiday celebrations, etc. And I have to decide if spending that time with my family is worth the teeth-gritting time with my father. I resent my family for subjecting me to this. They know how I feel and keep inviting him.

It really isn't that they don't know. I've told them. I've asked them to let me know when he's going to be around so I can decide whether or not to attend. And there are times I've done that. On Christmas Eve 2005, my brother text-messaged me late at night that my mother wanted me to know that my father would be there the next day. That was infuriating. They wouldn't respond to my questions about the timing of this revelation, and I decided not to go. Which pissed them off to no end, especially my brother who couldn't understand why I wouldn't "just suck it up and spend time with the family."

Our experiences with our father were very different, of course. In one of the last fights I had with the man before I went to college, I warned him that he should be more involved in my brother's life. It's possible that he took that advice to heart.

I'm not sure which is worse, spending time with my father or the resentment towards my family for subjecting me to him.

Ouch

I've been dating P for just over 2 months now. There are different stages of comfort to a relationship that I anticipated: First time we held hands. First time we burped in front of each other. First time we sat in the same room working separately.

But last night was the first time she hit me. On the arm. Hard. Really hard. There's no bruise, but it's still tender.

Admittedly, she was following a "Hit him for me," order from MichelleM. But it still hurt. She's got practice punching her older brothers, and I don't remember ever having to take a punch from my younger sister.

P: Would a kiss make it up to you?
Me: No!
P: So what would?
Me: How about grabbing my butt in front of the hot 20-year-olds?
P: Outside, after we leave?
Me: No. Inside, when they're watching.
P: [doubtful] Sure...
Me: I'm serious. And I'll have to think about how to react. Maybe I'll jump, squawk, and yell 'Did you just grab my butt?'
MichelleM: At least you know now not to mess with me. I'll hurt you!