It was far from a lazy Sunday.
Scheduled an after-Meeting bike ride with EVH; Meeting is halfway to Irvine, I want to bring my bike, but don't want to leave it out on the rack, so I packed it in the trunk the night before. Realized that I'd be heading to dance class after the ride without a trip back home, so I wore my dance clothing (nothing specific to dance, just stuff made from micro-fiber) to Meeting, packed my ride clothing and gear, some stuff to wash up with, and my dancing shoes. Yes, specific shoes to dance in. This isn't a post about my dance gear.
Little tardy to even the 15-minute late entry to Meeting, but oh well. Didn't see EVH. Saw the Remys and SS, but no catbonny or Animaumbrae either. KQ had already bowed out of lunch, if I remember correctly. Silent worship was very nice, but the announcements went on and on. The current downside to attending. Talking meeting next week regarding finances and fund-raising. I'll definitely stay for that. EVH calls to tell me her morning ran too late to make Meeting or lunch after, but is still up for a bike ride. Oh good, I'd hate to be late to Meeting prepping for a ride that didn't happen. Heck, I would have scouted a river-ride from Santa Ana, I think.
The Young-ish attenders decide to forgo lunch this week in favor of a time when more people attend. SS and I decide to get coffee and chat anyway. Gypsy Den staff doesn't give us service in the 10 minutes we're seated, so we leave and check out Memphis, just next door. We're seated and have water (SS's with lots of lemon, mine with moderate quantities of lemon) within 90 seconds. SS wants to write a letter to the Gypsy Den management. I think I'll do that too. I hear about her family and ethnic history, and a bit about her courtship. Getting to be better friends with people is always an incremental process. I tried to share my thoughts without imposing my mind-state on things. We agree that I'll join her for a ride some weekend.
Made it to EVH's place, changed into ride gear, and we set out on a tour of the back-bay. I managed to drop my bike computer early in the ride , but saw it fall and managed to recover it after a bit of searching. Whew!
We did 15 miles in 1:50 including some stops for the aformentioned search as well as a water break. Riding up one of the rolling hills (after the brief stretch on PCH when doing the back-bay "clock-wise"), I wondered how well I'd do on big hill up to the local high-school. I'm going to have to try that soon. Saturday morning, maybe? Some time when the students aren't driving up or down. EVH offers the use of her shower, so my plan to go to 24H Fitness isn't enacted. Chat briefly with her fellow TA who drops by; Nice guy, but I don't remember his name. EVH says he "Knows everybody." I give them the "connector" spiel from The Tipping Point.
Push off to make dance class.
Showing posts with label quakerism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quakerism. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Blogging Church
I was inspired to start this blog by reading about the spiritual and emotional journeys of friends. A couple weeks ago, I came across this post on the 43 Folders site, about blogging in general, but specifically about blogging in a Church setting. Very interesting idea for a book. I'll have to check it out.
Blogs: Watching passionate thoughts evolve (in public) | 43 Folders
Blogs: Watching passionate thoughts evolve (in public) | 43 Folders
Monday, February 12, 2007
Spinning My Heels
Quaker Meeting on Sunday morning followed by a meal at the Gypsy Den with RH, Anima Umbrae, and B catbonny. [EDIT: Duh, and SS of course]Lovely conversation, lovely friends. Good to see B catbonny tolerating us odd people. Wondering how she's handling all the unprogrammed worship, but it always feels a bit pushy to ask, so I don't.
SL and I saw my sister's Second City LA level 3 class perform. Missed the first few minutes of the show, but got to see the bulk. Very funny stuff, except for the Samuel Beckett bit. Ouch. Some players were clearly better than others, though I might be biased when I proudly say my sister was clearly one of the best up there. RyanH and my mother were there, but returned quickly to Brea after the show. John Remy and EVH had tried to make it from the 3pm Confessions of a Mormon Boy to the 5pm show, but got mixed up regarding the address. So sad, but they met up with us for dinner at the New Indian Grill. Great Samosa's, yummy veggie fare (though chicken and lamb were on the menu), more great company.
SL asked me some issues on Quakerism which were quite thought-provoking. Chatted with her perky roommate, and I volunteered my unneeded advice about her evening's entertainment. Time flew by.
Oh, spinning? Yeah, got up at 4am for the 5:30am spin class. But 'twas not to be [EDIT: That's a little shout-out To Anima Umbrae]. All spots taken by 5:15am. Darn. Considering the 8:30am class. Considering the 7:30pm class. Meanwhile, spinning my heels.
SL and I saw my sister's Second City LA level 3 class perform. Missed the first few minutes of the show, but got to see the bulk. Very funny stuff, except for the Samuel Beckett bit. Ouch. Some players were clearly better than others, though I might be biased when I proudly say my sister was clearly one of the best up there. RyanH and my mother were there, but returned quickly to Brea after the show. John Remy and EVH had tried to make it from the 3pm Confessions of a Mormon Boy to the 5pm show, but got mixed up regarding the address. So sad, but they met up with us for dinner at the New Indian Grill. Great Samosa's, yummy veggie fare (though chicken and lamb were on the menu), more great company.
SL asked me some issues on Quakerism which were quite thought-provoking. Chatted with her perky roommate, and I volunteered my unneeded advice about her evening's entertainment. Time flew by.
Oh, spinning? Yeah, got up at 4am for the 5:30am spin class. But 'twas not to be [EDIT: That's a little shout-out To Anima Umbrae]. All spots taken by 5:15am. Darn. Considering the 8:30am class. Considering the 7:30pm class. Meanwhile, spinning my heels.
Friday, February 2, 2007
How Can I Keep From Singing?
In light of my recent experience with LDS singing, I was pleasantly surprised this past Sunday to experience some singing at the Rise of Meeting. So I posed this question to the OCFM mailing list:
It feels a little overly dogmatic about not "programming" worship.
I really enjoyed the singing at the rise of meeting this past week. I know that there's a monthly group that sings before meeting, but I was wondering what the historical discussion has been about including a song at the end of Meeting for Worship.I thought I was being fairly clear that I was looking for an overview of the past discussion on this issue, but got at least one fairly negative response to my "advocacy."
I've recently been reminded by my friends of other traditions how powerful and comforting song can be, even if it was just singing "As We Leave This Friendly Place" as we head for refreshments, as I remember doing at other Meetings I've attended (no hymn book required).
It feels a little overly dogmatic about not "programming" worship.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Like Riding a Bike
Meant to share this thought over a week ago at Meeting, but didn't get a chance with all the ministry going on. The thought's been bouncing around my head all week and with a repeat performance during my ride on Saturday, I felt compelled to discuss this at Meeting this past Sunday. Here's my best attempt at re-creating the thought.
When I first started to cycling for fitness, I had a lot of fun, but there were a lot of distractions like saddle-soreness, endless gear to buy, hands going numb during rides, other riders, worrying that I looked ridiculous, etc. Recently, most of those distractions have dropped away, leaving how I happen to feel on a given day, plus something unexpected. When I'm on the bike, I can feel the texture of the road, the wind in my face, my legs falling into a rhythm, my breathing becoming deeper, more rhythmic, and for brief periods of time, my sense of self fading away. It's as if there is no bike, no actual physical presence, just the act of riding, the feel of the wind, road, and pedaling without me actually being there. I'm doing a bad job of describing the feeling, but that's as close as I can get. Cycling has become a little bit about chasing this feeling of connectedness and transcendence.
I can't help but draw a parallel between my experience on the bicycle and my experience in Quaker "Meeting for Worship." Since I was raised in the Quaker tradition, the prospect of sitting quietly in a room for an hour wasn't that foreign an idea. However, consideration and practice are two different things, and I was living with a 20 year gap in practice. The silent worship was difficult during those first few meetings. I didn't have an adult history of meditative practice, or any basis for knowing what I should be doing during that time. I was uncomfortable sitting in a single place for an extended period of time, distracted by the noise from the street, and fell into the habit of clock-watching.
Over time, I've managed to get to a place where I can still my body, quiet my mind, not have a thought agenda, and sit in "expectant waiting" and "worshipful silence." Most times, I can feel the street noise wash over and through me, as if I'm sand on a beach and the noise is the waves of the ocean. I can sense the passing of time, but am usually surprised by the end of silent meeting. And at times, my sense of self and individuality fades a little bit. I have this incredible feeling of connectedness that I want to continue. And in that state, I can let thoughts swim into focus as a meditative subject. Others might call that prayer, and that's fine with me to. The act is more important to me than the terminology.
Had a chance last night to briefly touch on the difficulties of silent worship with new friends outside the Quaker tradition, and found it difficult to condense this thought down to a 20 second blurb. They were discussing visiting the Meeting the next time there's an "Introduction to Quakerism" class. Hope they might stumble across this at some point. Or be pointed. Hint, hint.
Found this account by pilgrimgirl to be very enlightening on how to adjust one's own tradition to the Quaker one. But it might not fill the hour! :-)
When I first started to cycling for fitness, I had a lot of fun, but there were a lot of distractions like saddle-soreness, endless gear to buy, hands going numb during rides, other riders, worrying that I looked ridiculous, etc. Recently, most of those distractions have dropped away, leaving how I happen to feel on a given day, plus something unexpected. When I'm on the bike, I can feel the texture of the road, the wind in my face, my legs falling into a rhythm, my breathing becoming deeper, more rhythmic, and for brief periods of time, my sense of self fading away. It's as if there is no bike, no actual physical presence, just the act of riding, the feel of the wind, road, and pedaling without me actually being there. I'm doing a bad job of describing the feeling, but that's as close as I can get. Cycling has become a little bit about chasing this feeling of connectedness and transcendence.
I can't help but draw a parallel between my experience on the bicycle and my experience in Quaker "Meeting for Worship." Since I was raised in the Quaker tradition, the prospect of sitting quietly in a room for an hour wasn't that foreign an idea. However, consideration and practice are two different things, and I was living with a 20 year gap in practice. The silent worship was difficult during those first few meetings. I didn't have an adult history of meditative practice, or any basis for knowing what I should be doing during that time. I was uncomfortable sitting in a single place for an extended period of time, distracted by the noise from the street, and fell into the habit of clock-watching.
Over time, I've managed to get to a place where I can still my body, quiet my mind, not have a thought agenda, and sit in "expectant waiting" and "worshipful silence." Most times, I can feel the street noise wash over and through me, as if I'm sand on a beach and the noise is the waves of the ocean. I can sense the passing of time, but am usually surprised by the end of silent meeting. And at times, my sense of self and individuality fades a little bit. I have this incredible feeling of connectedness that I want to continue. And in that state, I can let thoughts swim into focus as a meditative subject. Others might call that prayer, and that's fine with me to. The act is more important to me than the terminology.
Had a chance last night to briefly touch on the difficulties of silent worship with new friends outside the Quaker tradition, and found it difficult to condense this thought down to a 20 second blurb. They were discussing visiting the Meeting the next time there's an "Introduction to Quakerism" class. Hope they might stumble across this at some point. Or be pointed. Hint, hint.
Found this account by pilgrimgirl to be very enlightening on how to adjust one's own tradition to the Quaker one. But it might not fill the hour! :-)
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
The Comfort of Friendship
After Meeting on Sunday, I had lunch with EVH and a new attender, AA. Great food and great conversation, though we veered a bit more spiritual than I was used to in those situations. I guess that's a side-effect of having someone who's experiencing Quakerism for the first time. EVH is on the verge of some serious grilling by her exam board, so here's to you EVH. Knock-em-dead! But not literally. Always interesting to hear people I know discuss their spirituality, and EVH being a smarty is especially interesting to listen to (Pretty and smart? Deadly combination). She mentioned the comfort of ritual, which definitely resonated with me. We also chatted a bit about Quaker Clearness Committees. It's such a unique process that I really can't hear enough about it. Jana mentioned it once as well, and I still ask her to tell the story every once-in-a-while, usually trying to pretend (badly) that it's for someone else's benefit. Oops, I might have done that to EVH as well.
Maybe I was mumbling, but EVH always seemed to mis-hear me in the funniest way possible. Though that was a two-way street: At one point I thought she was saying she was very into scarification (instead of her actual "I am respectful of it" stance). It's odd where I draw my lines. I'm respectful of piercing and tatoo'ing in most of their forms, but scarification is something I have a difficult time with.
Actually, I noticed AA had a semi-elaborate tribal tattoo around one ankle, that I meant to ask the story behind. She has an interesting narrative, coming from a Unitarian Universalist background. Finally hearing about that tradition made me all the more interested in checking it out some time (beliefnet tells me I'm a 100% match). Also interesting was the "tour of faiths" she's put herself through. I found it difficult enough to go to my first Meeting, and that was a tradition I was familiar with! The prospect of visiting others without knowing whether it's a waste of time or not sounds really intimidating to me. And she didn't just visit, it sounds like she checked out various Bible studies as well. Wow. Maybe I can shortcut all that by picking her brain. :-) Also of note was her dance with various grad-school programs. As someone gearing up to go back to school, I'm always interested in hearing about other experiences in those situations.
[EDIT: added 11:04am]
I mentioned my experience at LDS Institute, and how the singing made me nostalgic, especially since there we sang a song at the rise of meeting (tougher in the absence of hymn books, but still fun). We all agreed that music can be a powerful, positive experience.
I missed Kathy, David, Bonnie, Shana, Ryan, and the Remys, but it was a lovely afternoon with fascinating company.
Did I already mention dinner with the Remys in a previous post? Well, I won't go back and re-visit that too much except to say that I find it amazing to see their kids growing like weeds. It's perhaps easier to see in CatGirl, with her jumping and prancing (and not doing homework). I swear she grew a couple centimeters while I was eating dinner. But GameBoy is clearly growing too, though perhaps less obviously. He doesn't prance per se, but after marching with him for over an hour on Saturday and seeing him at dinner Sunday, it's a little shocking to compare him to my memories from just a few months back. I guess it's just that age. Is he at that age when boys are actually behind girls in growth? I seem to remember it being somewhere around that 12-14 year range when, in swimming, girls would dominate boys in the same age group. That ends, but not soon enough, it seemed.
Maybe I was mumbling, but EVH always seemed to mis-hear me in the funniest way possible. Though that was a two-way street: At one point I thought she was saying she was very into scarification (instead of her actual "I am respectful of it" stance). It's odd where I draw my lines. I'm respectful of piercing and tatoo'ing in most of their forms, but scarification is something I have a difficult time with.
Actually, I noticed AA had a semi-elaborate tribal tattoo around one ankle, that I meant to ask the story behind. She has an interesting narrative, coming from a Unitarian Universalist background. Finally hearing about that tradition made me all the more interested in checking it out some time (beliefnet tells me I'm a 100% match). Also interesting was the "tour of faiths" she's put herself through. I found it difficult enough to go to my first Meeting, and that was a tradition I was familiar with! The prospect of visiting others without knowing whether it's a waste of time or not sounds really intimidating to me. And she didn't just visit, it sounds like she checked out various Bible studies as well. Wow. Maybe I can shortcut all that by picking her brain. :-) Also of note was her dance with various grad-school programs. As someone gearing up to go back to school, I'm always interested in hearing about other experiences in those situations.
[EDIT: added 11:04am]
I mentioned my experience at LDS Institute, and how the singing made me nostalgic, especially since there we sang a song at the rise of meeting (tougher in the absence of hymn books, but still fun). We all agreed that music can be a powerful, positive experience.
I missed Kathy, David, Bonnie, Shana, Ryan, and the Remys, but it was a lovely afternoon with fascinating company.
Did I already mention dinner with the Remys in a previous post? Well, I won't go back and re-visit that too much except to say that I find it amazing to see their kids growing like weeds. It's perhaps easier to see in CatGirl, with her jumping and prancing (and not doing homework). I swear she grew a couple centimeters while I was eating dinner. But GameBoy is clearly growing too, though perhaps less obviously. He doesn't prance per se, but after marching with him for over an hour on Saturday and seeing him at dinner Sunday, it's a little shocking to compare him to my memories from just a few months back. I guess it's just that age. Is he at that age when boys are actually behind girls in growth? I seem to remember it being somewhere around that 12-14 year range when, in swimming, girls would dominate boys in the same age group. That ends, but not soon enough, it seemed.
I Didn't Even Get The T-Shirt
Saturday morning, I had a really cool 20-mile ride with EB. Relaxed the whole way, but had fun. Damn my new bike is awesome! On the return leg, got a call from John Remy. Promised to call him back, and did on the way back home. He was proposing a morning activity. I had plans in the early evening, but was up for something. What followed was a slowly unrolling story about meeting up with the American Friends Service Committee to march. Well, I was game but needed to leave around 4:30 to meet a friend for dinner. It eventually came out that John wanted to march then head over to say hello to the same friend. Nice.
Missed the AFSC rally point, but managed to meet up with them at the greater rally point. On the way we passed by a very surreal scene of an ambulance with red-lights flashing in front of a building with a display of what looked like emergency-vehicle lights, which started to flash. Wish I had taken a picture, but there were some people standing in front of the display and we made the on-site decision to respect their privacy.
At the rally point, it looked like a few hundred people showed up, which made me wonder about the street-shutdowns and police presence. Lots of cops on bikes, so I asked one about the frame he was riding. He was on a Raleigh, but they had bikes built on Giant as well. Interesting. The march got going and I suddenly realized that there were several thousand people around us. John, GameBoy, and I made plans to meet at various locations if we got separated, which were totally inadequate in retrospect. At various times, John, GameBoy, and I all got to carry the eight-foot tall AFSC sign proclaiming that "There Is No Way To Peace. Peace Is The Way." AFSC seemed to be in the "slow" lane of the march, so we got to see various groups pass us by. Snapped the following shot of one of the louder drumming and shouting groups.
We ended up passing on the rally, and getting lunch in Little Tokyo. At that point, my knee was really acting up. I ended up limping the rest of the day. GameBoy gamely ordered half a chicken with gohan and soba. Wow. It was a late lunch for me, so I just had udon. Yummy!
We spent a tiny amount of time in the Little Tokyo branch of the public library. I wish I spent more time in the area (in general, not just on the day).
On Sunday morning, my mother excitedly text-messaged me that I had made the paper. As I told the attenders of Meeting that morning, there are two young, handsome guys to the right of the "I [Heart] Our Troops" sign. And next to them are JohnR and I! Sunday 1/28/2007 LA Times, page A14.
Stopped to visit with SL before heading back home. John and I both prattled on about what we thought about the surge. I think I'm pretty married to the idea that what we're doing now is a mistake, and that there are more informed people than I who should be spending all their time and energy on a graceful exit plan. Blah blah blah. It was a full day.
Missed the AFSC rally point, but managed to meet up with them at the greater rally point. On the way we passed by a very surreal scene of an ambulance with red-lights flashing in front of a building with a display of what looked like emergency-vehicle lights, which started to flash. Wish I had taken a picture, but there were some people standing in front of the display and we made the on-site decision to respect their privacy.
At the rally point, it looked like a few hundred people showed up, which made me wonder about the street-shutdowns and police presence. Lots of cops on bikes, so I asked one about the frame he was riding. He was on a Raleigh, but they had bikes built on Giant as well. Interesting. The march got going and I suddenly realized that there were several thousand people around us. John, GameBoy, and I made plans to meet at various locations if we got separated, which were totally inadequate in retrospect. At various times, John, GameBoy, and I all got to carry the eight-foot tall AFSC sign proclaiming that "There Is No Way To Peace. Peace Is The Way." AFSC seemed to be in the "slow" lane of the march, so we got to see various groups pass us by. Snapped the following shot of one of the louder drumming and shouting groups.
We ended up passing on the rally, and getting lunch in Little Tokyo. At that point, my knee was really acting up. I ended up limping the rest of the day. GameBoy gamely ordered half a chicken with gohan and soba. Wow. It was a late lunch for me, so I just had udon. Yummy!
We spent a tiny amount of time in the Little Tokyo branch of the public library. I wish I spent more time in the area (in general, not just on the day).
On Sunday morning, my mother excitedly text-messaged me that I had made the paper. As I told the attenders of Meeting that morning, there are two young, handsome guys to the right of the "I [Heart] Our Troops" sign. And next to them are JohnR and I! Sunday 1/28/2007 LA Times, page A14.
Stopped to visit with SL before heading back home. John and I both prattled on about what we thought about the surge. I think I'm pretty married to the idea that what we're doing now is a mistake, and that there are more informed people than I who should be spending all their time and energy on a graceful exit plan. Blah blah blah. It was a full day.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
I Don't Know What I Beleive Pt. 2
I've been considering the question of sexual morality recently since it's been brought up by more than one LDS-backgrounded friend.
There is a late-teen memory which flashes into my head. I spent the summer before my senior year making some really intense friendships at a summer camp run by the Junior Statesmen Foundation (Stanford 1990 represent!). I maintained contact with one of the gals for a brief time and had an intense overnight conversation about relationships, sex, and friendship. She was the first female peer that felt comfortable talking to me about her history with sex, and shared that she'd probably stayed in her last relationship (which was shading vaguely abusive) way too long solely because of the bond and closeness she felt because of sex. I think that revelation was my first hint that I didn't know everything about sex. Well, certainly I knew the consequences, but this might have been the first time that I was introduced to the idea of sex causing bonding where before there might have only been weak attraction or none at all.
Now I'm not 16 any more, but this discussion bubbles to the top of my mind when I'm asked about promiscuity, premarital sex, or casual sex. My personal experiences haven't ever really conflicted with that late-night conversation. I can understand the desire for casual sex, but can't say much about sex has ever been casual to me. A new friend of mine told me that wasn't her experience at all, which was surprising. Though now I wonder whether she meant that wasn't her experience with the attitudes of men she knew, as opposed to her personal experience.
I don't know whether this was a coordinated thing, but my LDS friends have all casually (or not so casually) mentioned the idea of LDS chastity to me, all in the space of a very few days (what's up with the chastity message, people?). Chastity as in premarital chastity. I know I'm old now because I can certainly understand the motivations behind that attitude. Maybe I look back and and see that some of the experiences I had as a young person could have been delayed. Chastity, in my mind, has it's problems. Sexuality is just so complex, over time (and even over not so much time), that I wonder how people could make a marriage commitment without knowing their long-term sexual compatibility. One friend floated the idea that talking about expectations ahead of time would be a good step, as would faith and a commitment to work on things that might come up. Those are definitely great ideas, but nothing is quite like the actual thing, over time, in real-life, less-than-ideal conditions. And by implication, doesn't that mean that people are getting married without first living together? Another thing that amazes me.
Whoops, what's right for me? I guess I think there's a middle ground between chastity and promiscuity.
I think the official position is that sex is something that should be limited to people in a committed and caring relationship, which pretty much describes my attitude.
[EDIT: Added Question]
Let me throw out the question of premarital chastity to my legions of readers who experienced that kind of culture. Was it difficult to negotiate different expectations before and after marriage? How about my married readers who didn't grow up in that kind of culture? Any insights?
What is the Quaker position on premarital sex?Deep breath. I take this question as neither an invitation to have sex nor an invitation to get married. Of course, the important thing here is what is my position? Maybe I just say that because I don't know the official Quaker position off the top of my head.
There is a late-teen memory which flashes into my head. I spent the summer before my senior year making some really intense friendships at a summer camp run by the Junior Statesmen Foundation (Stanford 1990 represent!). I maintained contact with one of the gals for a brief time and had an intense overnight conversation about relationships, sex, and friendship. She was the first female peer that felt comfortable talking to me about her history with sex, and shared that she'd probably stayed in her last relationship (which was shading vaguely abusive) way too long solely because of the bond and closeness she felt because of sex. I think that revelation was my first hint that I didn't know everything about sex. Well, certainly I knew the consequences, but this might have been the first time that I was introduced to the idea of sex causing bonding where before there might have only been weak attraction or none at all.
Now I'm not 16 any more, but this discussion bubbles to the top of my mind when I'm asked about promiscuity, premarital sex, or casual sex. My personal experiences haven't ever really conflicted with that late-night conversation. I can understand the desire for casual sex, but can't say much about sex has ever been casual to me. A new friend of mine told me that wasn't her experience at all, which was surprising. Though now I wonder whether she meant that wasn't her experience with the attitudes of men she knew, as opposed to her personal experience.
I don't know whether this was a coordinated thing, but my LDS friends have all casually (or not so casually) mentioned the idea of LDS chastity to me, all in the space of a very few days (what's up with the chastity message, people?). Chastity as in premarital chastity. I know I'm old now because I can certainly understand the motivations behind that attitude. Maybe I look back and and see that some of the experiences I had as a young person could have been delayed. Chastity, in my mind, has it's problems. Sexuality is just so complex, over time (and even over not so much time), that I wonder how people could make a marriage commitment without knowing their long-term sexual compatibility. One friend floated the idea that talking about expectations ahead of time would be a good step, as would faith and a commitment to work on things that might come up. Those are definitely great ideas, but nothing is quite like the actual thing, over time, in real-life, less-than-ideal conditions. And by implication, doesn't that mean that people are getting married without first living together? Another thing that amazes me.
Whoops, what's right for me? I guess I think there's a middle ground between chastity and promiscuity.
I think the official position is that sex is something that should be limited to people in a committed and caring relationship, which pretty much describes my attitude.
[EDIT: Added Question]
Let me throw out the question of premarital chastity to my legions of readers who experienced that kind of culture. Was it difficult to negotiate different expectations before and after marriage? How about my married readers who didn't grow up in that kind of culture? Any insights?
Sunday, January 21, 2007
I Don't Know What I Believe Pt. 1
I've been having a fascinating conversations with new LDS friends about topics which have really made me examine what I believe.
First off, sexual morality. No, I'll leave that for later.
First off, marriage. I heard a very interesting description of marriage being a decision point or as I rephrased it, a "line in the sand" for a relationship. Marriage means a couple is stepping up and making a commitment to each other, friends, family, and God. I really don't see the marriage ceremony that way at all. To me, a relationship involves an escalating series of commitments and discussions about what partners expect and need from each other. I hope that at the point that I marry someone, the serious commitment to her will have been in the past. I hope that the conversations that I have with the divine spirit will have been in the past. I see the ceremony as more of a celebration and sharing of the joy with community. Then again, I've never been close to married, so what do I know.
Next, do I believe in sin, redemption, forgiveness, and an afterlife. Nice list, eh?
Last first; Do I believe in an afterlife?
I think the quick answer is no. I have no way of knowing about what might go on after death. What I do know is that I need to live my life as if this were the only chance I have to love my family, love my friends, and do good in the world. I just can't put any of that stuff, thinking that I'll just make up for it in the afterlife.
Is it depressing not to have have faith in an afterlife?
In the past, it has been. CH recently reminded me of a statement I made to him back in high-school about envying the faith and comfort a friend of ours derived from her religion. But I think I'm over that now. I have faith and comfort but faith that what I do in this life matters. I'd love to meet both my grandmothers again and converse with them as adults. I'd love to ask my Tokyo granny about her writings on worship, chat with my Grandfather about life in Shanghai. Maybe I'll get the chance to do those things, but I feel a little dirty trying to use those things to motivate myself to live a good life. A good life is worth living, afterlife or not. And especially if there's no afterlife.
Do I believe in sin, redemption, and forgiveness?
To me, the concept of sin presupposes fairly rigid rules, which I haven't experienced in my spirituality. I experience morality in a pretty complex way. So sin, no. Being on the wrong side of a moral decision certainly happens to me.
Redemption or salvation?
Not really. Well, that's not quite true. But when I don't see the afterlife as a relevant part of my life, and I don't really believe in hard and fast sin, well, redemption doesn't seem very relevant, does it?
Forgiveness?
This is a very weird issue for me. I don't think I believe in forgiveness for sin, partly because I'm not on board with sin. I know that even living by my own brand of morality, I'm far from perfect. And I strive to seek guidance in how I experience Divinity on how to live my life better than I do now. But to forgive my past? Absolution? A magic wand that wipes me clean? That isn't how I experience spirituality.
As always, more self-indulgent rambling later...
First off, sexual morality. No, I'll leave that for later.
First off, marriage. I heard a very interesting description of marriage being a decision point or as I rephrased it, a "line in the sand" for a relationship. Marriage means a couple is stepping up and making a commitment to each other, friends, family, and God. I really don't see the marriage ceremony that way at all. To me, a relationship involves an escalating series of commitments and discussions about what partners expect and need from each other. I hope that at the point that I marry someone, the serious commitment to her will have been in the past. I hope that the conversations that I have with the divine spirit will have been in the past. I see the ceremony as more of a celebration and sharing of the joy with community. Then again, I've never been close to married, so what do I know.
Next, do I believe in sin, redemption, forgiveness, and an afterlife. Nice list, eh?
Last first; Do I believe in an afterlife?
I think the quick answer is no. I have no way of knowing about what might go on after death. What I do know is that I need to live my life as if this were the only chance I have to love my family, love my friends, and do good in the world. I just can't put any of that stuff, thinking that I'll just make up for it in the afterlife.
Is it depressing not to have have faith in an afterlife?
In the past, it has been. CH recently reminded me of a statement I made to him back in high-school about envying the faith and comfort a friend of ours derived from her religion. But I think I'm over that now. I have faith and comfort but faith that what I do in this life matters. I'd love to meet both my grandmothers again and converse with them as adults. I'd love to ask my Tokyo granny about her writings on worship, chat with my Grandfather about life in Shanghai. Maybe I'll get the chance to do those things, but I feel a little dirty trying to use those things to motivate myself to live a good life. A good life is worth living, afterlife or not. And especially if there's no afterlife.
Do I believe in sin, redemption, and forgiveness?
To me, the concept of sin presupposes fairly rigid rules, which I haven't experienced in my spirituality. I experience morality in a pretty complex way. So sin, no. Being on the wrong side of a moral decision certainly happens to me.
Redemption or salvation?
Not really. Well, that's not quite true. But when I don't see the afterlife as a relevant part of my life, and I don't really believe in hard and fast sin, well, redemption doesn't seem very relevant, does it?
Forgiveness?
This is a very weird issue for me. I don't think I believe in forgiveness for sin, partly because I'm not on board with sin. I know that even living by my own brand of morality, I'm far from perfect. And I strive to seek guidance in how I experience Divinity on how to live my life better than I do now. But to forgive my past? Absolution? A magic wand that wipes me clean? That isn't how I experience spirituality.
As always, more self-indulgent rambling later...
Friday, January 12, 2007
Reflections on 100 Hours Part 2
Some early-morning thoughts on Queries in response to the Bill Moyers interview with Salman Rushdie:
Rushdie posits that the fundamentalist viewpoint that morality springs from divinity is a blind-spot. Is Rushdie's reliance on intellectualism (reasoned debate, thoughtful discussion) a similar weakness given humanity's consistent abandonment of reason for emotion, comfort, and promises of safety?
Rushdie states that it's easy to pretend to be culturally sensitive while actually bowing to intimidation (Danish cartoon's portrayal of Mohammed). Is resisting intimidation a good enough reason to be culturally insensitive?
Do American attitudes towards flag-burning parallel Muslim attitudes towards insulting portrayals of Mohammed?
Rushdie posits that the fundamentalist viewpoint that morality springs from divinity is a blind-spot. Is Rushdie's reliance on intellectualism (reasoned debate, thoughtful discussion) a similar weakness given humanity's consistent abandonment of reason for emotion, comfort, and promises of safety?
Rushdie states that it's easy to pretend to be culturally sensitive while actually bowing to intimidation (Danish cartoon's portrayal of Mohammed). Is resisting intimidation a good enough reason to be culturally insensitive?
Do American attitudes towards flag-burning parallel Muslim attitudes towards insulting portrayals of Mohammed?
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
100 Hours of Spirituality
This past Sunday, I taught the older kids' First Day School (that's Quaker for Sunday School) session. This second time around was a lot better for me, as I essentially made up my own lesson on Quakerism.
The first time, back in October 2006, I followed a lesson plan on the Old Testament which was ok, but forced me to re-read the Old Testament for the first time in 20-something years. And it's not that I'm complaining about that, it's that reading the bible means reading all the stuff that disillusioned me to it in the first place. The lesson plan was on Exodus, focusing mostly on the Covenant, but oddly skipped over some chapters. Being a curious guy, I'm not just going to skip over ... oh no! Exodus 21 is a chapter outlining God's laws on acceptable behavior towards one's Hebrew slaves! Yeah, I guess I'm not going to teach that, but it felt like I was being dishonest to the kids.
So, "What is Quakerism" is a task that's a bit more palatable to me. For the record, my highlights were:
Lack of Creed
Lack of Sacrament
Inner Light
Personal Revelation
The kids weren't familiar with the ideas as characteristics of Quakerism, so I assume that it just hasn't been presented to them in this manner, or that it has and they forgot. Possibly both. I ran out of time before I could cover the Testimonies.
I stumbled across this article from Slate which makes mention of the "Jefferson Bible" a version of the New Testament from which Thomas Jefferson "excised every verse dealing with virgin birth, miracles, resurrection, and other puerile superstition..." It's worth checking out the Amazon.com page for the book's spotlight reviews and look for one by R. Hardy "Rob Hardy."
I wonder if this is worthy of being taught from in First Day School?
On Tuesday evening, I joined some friends to view the first disk in the Bill Moyers PBS series "Faith and Reason." The hour-long interview was with Salman Rushdie, who was eloquent, witty, and sometimes a little glib. I have all kinds of feeling bouncing around in my head. I have some unformed Queries I'd like to write centering around appeasement, debate and discussion as freedom, and blind-spots.
Attended a class tonight taught by JanaR, centering on the topics of prayer and fasting. To be honest, most of the time was spent on prayer issues. I assume that everyone else in the class was Mormon, which isn't my tradition, of course. There was a fair amount of time spent discussing the issue of vocalization of prayer (again, not my tradition) which I found bizarre. Not the practice of vocalization of prayers, which is probably the predominant way to pray, but that someone would think that prayer or worship would require vocalization, not just a prayerful state of mind. To be honest, worshipful silence is outside of most people's experience.
Whew, that's a busy 100 hours.
The first time, back in October 2006, I followed a lesson plan on the Old Testament which was ok, but forced me to re-read the Old Testament for the first time in 20-something years. And it's not that I'm complaining about that, it's that reading the bible means reading all the stuff that disillusioned me to it in the first place. The lesson plan was on Exodus, focusing mostly on the Covenant, but oddly skipped over some chapters. Being a curious guy, I'm not just going to skip over ... oh no! Exodus 21 is a chapter outlining God's laws on acceptable behavior towards one's Hebrew slaves! Yeah, I guess I'm not going to teach that, but it felt like I was being dishonest to the kids.
So, "What is Quakerism" is a task that's a bit more palatable to me. For the record, my highlights were:
Lack of Creed
Lack of Sacrament
Inner Light
Personal Revelation
The kids weren't familiar with the ideas as characteristics of Quakerism, so I assume that it just hasn't been presented to them in this manner, or that it has and they forgot. Possibly both. I ran out of time before I could cover the Testimonies.
I stumbled across this article from Slate which makes mention of the "Jefferson Bible" a version of the New Testament from which Thomas Jefferson "excised every verse dealing with virgin birth, miracles, resurrection, and other puerile superstition..." It's worth checking out the Amazon.com page for the book's spotlight reviews and look for one by R. Hardy "Rob Hardy."
The first sentences of Jefferson's Bible have to do with Joseph and Mary going to Bethlehem to be taxed. There is no Annunciation, indeed, no implication that Jesus had any sort of miraculous birth; Jefferson distrusted miracles. Having seen the beginning, I turned to the final pages; I knew how the story turned out, you see, so I did not really risk ruining it for myself. The end is just as worldly; "They rolled a great stone to the door of the sepulchre, and departed."I'm not sure why I should find it stunning that someone would think to collect the essence of the life of Jesus, which to me would be his teachings not the miraculous events, and publish it. Of course, Jefferson apparently didn't publish it, but kept it as a secret guilty pleasure he read from nightly.
I wonder if this is worthy of being taught from in First Day School?
On Tuesday evening, I joined some friends to view the first disk in the Bill Moyers PBS series "Faith and Reason." The hour-long interview was with Salman Rushdie, who was eloquent, witty, and sometimes a little glib. I have all kinds of feeling bouncing around in my head. I have some unformed Queries I'd like to write centering around appeasement, debate and discussion as freedom, and blind-spots.
Attended a class tonight taught by JanaR, centering on the topics of prayer and fasting. To be honest, most of the time was spent on prayer issues. I assume that everyone else in the class was Mormon, which isn't my tradition, of course. There was a fair amount of time spent discussing the issue of vocalization of prayer (again, not my tradition) which I found bizarre. Not the practice of vocalization of prayers, which is probably the predominant way to pray, but that someone would think that prayer or worship would require vocalization, not just a prayerful state of mind. To be honest, worshipful silence is outside of most people's experience.
Whew, that's a busy 100 hours.
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