SSC 27

Short Shameful Confession:

I thought everyone was mispronouncing "Tumoric."

SSC 26

Short Shameful Confession:

I am now facebook friends with every single girl I had a high school crush on, as well as my first kiss.

No Samantha, that's not ambitious, it's just happenstance.

SSC 25

Short Shameful Confession:

Every time I find women's underwear in my laundry, I secretly hope someone was trying to sneak it into my pocket, not just absently forgetting it in the washing machine.

SSC 24

Short Shameful Confession:

I've just spend 2 and a half hours watching Youtube video of people lancing boils and draining abscesses. 

SSC 23

Short Shameful Confession:

When I read the word affidavit, in my head, I pronounce it "aff-uh-dah-VEE."

I know how to pronounce it, but my sister told me she that's how she did it when reading a aloud in the middle of a high school English class. Nice!

SSC 22

Short Shameful Confession:

Sometimes someone will mention a brand name and I'll sing a snippet of the 1980's commercial jingle that no one else remembers. And everyone will think I'm insane.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DB9GxrcjUQ

SSC 21

Short Shameful Confession:

Since cleaning my stove top, I've been afraid to use it's gleaming white surface for fear that it will never be this clean again. No, I might be afraid that nothing in my apartment will ever be this clean again.

SSC 20

Short Shameful Confession:



I've totally done that. Not the retrograde Wheelbarrow. The profile stalking thing.

SSC 19

Short Shameful Confession:

I really enjoy Reno 911!

SSC 18

Short Shameful Confession:

When P told me she learned a new Balboa move, I giggled (in a manly way), because "Bal movement" sounded like "bowel movement."

SSC 17

Short Shameful Confession:

Sometimes I use Quaker Simplicity as an excuse to be a cheap bastard.

SSC 16

Short Shameful Confession:

While scrubbing my shower, I seriously debated whether or not to clean my "curtain" or spend $2 on a new one.

SSC 15

Short Shameful Confession:

Shopping for a shower curtain at Target. Curtain: $10. Curtain liner: $2. I just bought the liner.

SSC 14

Short Shameful Confession:

I watched the "All About Mormons" episode of South Park this morning, and though it was hilarious. Then I felt guilty.

SSC 13

Short Shameful Confession:

I lied and said my Tazo Peach Iced Tea was "Alright" when it was delicious, so I wouldn't have to share.

SSC 12

Short Shameful Confession:

I spent about 10 minutes this morning being really angry at my mother for taking out the garbage without replacing the can liners before I realized that my mother doesn't live with me and it was just a very vivid dream.

SSC 11

Short Shameful Confession

I have a verbal affectation: I often say "moms" and "pops" instead of "mother" and "father." I can trace this back to an interview I saw with Dr. Dre (the hip-hop music producer and performer) in 1993. He sounded so cool saying it, that I decided to adopt it into my own speech pattern.

I was 20 at the time.

SSC 10

Short Shameful Confession:

I canceled my Tivo Season Passes to The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Reruns during the WGA strike just don't do it for me.

SSC 9

Short Shameful Confession:

I had a date last night, and at least one of the reasons I lifted weights before it was vanity. What's worse, I pushed back my sleeve and flexed my right arm at least twice over the course of the evening. I might even have asked whether she liked my arms. Pathetic.

SSC 8

Short Shameful Confession:

I had to stop myself from purchasing jeans which I already have four pairs of.