Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Bachelor Rules #2

Rule #2: Ixnay the Oozebay

That's right, when you're a bachelor, no booze. Booze is something they drank in old timey times. In gangster-owned speakeasies in the 1940's. During the late 1950's after Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated and WWII broke out. When Lincoln said "Four score and pass the booze."

Maybe I'm not being clear, you can still drink the stuff, but the modern bachelor doesn't refer to it as "booze." We call it hard alcohol, or if we're in the company of men, the hard stuff (yes, that's vaguely homoerotic; That's how bachelors act in the company of men).


  • Ironic humor
    Mother: I'd like a margarita too.
    Son: Coming right up, boozie boozerson.
  • Time Travel
    (Self explanatory)


  1. What if the girl uses the word booze first? Then can you use it?

  2. girl: Are we gonna booze it up tonight?
    bachelor: Yes ma'am. You know I'm packing the hard stuff.