Friday, October 26, 2007

Meet The Parents

Thoughts on humorous poses to take when you're a guy meeting the parents/siblings/extended-family of someone you're dating/sleeping-with/engaged-to for the first time:

Overly touchy guy
Be just a bit too touchy with your gal. You don't need to act out sexually in front of the parents, but immediately be a hand-holder. Put your arm on her shoulder, then sliiide it down her back after a couple minutes. You're going for, "He's making me uncomfortable, but I can't say why," not, "Honey, get my shotgun."

Overly manly guy
Say things like "Heya." Handshake with slightly too much squeeze (not pain, just slightly too much). Project burliness even if you aren't burly. Use the back-slap or shoulder clap on other guys. Speak in a deep, gravely voice as much as possible.

Ambiguous sexuality guy
The goal here isn't to come off as gay, just project interests which are slightly skewed from traditional gender roles. Perhaps you could casually ask about a window treatment. Not in too much detail, and not obsessively, but just briefly and casually. See an heirloom-quality piece of furniture? Ask about the history behind it. Then go for a contrast and ask the dad about his hunting trophies. Some questions are innocuous except when contrasted with others. Transition from a curiosity about fabric patterns to last weeks football game to "cricket is the only game you get to take a break for tea, which is just plain civilized," to working on your car ("I love working with my hands"), to a desire to try knitting some day ("I love working with my hands").

Trying too hard guy
Laugh at every joke. Be overly polite. Dress a little too conservatively (think about wearing a tie). Act like you're a perfect gentleman in a 50's movie. "I'll have her back by 10pm sharp, sir." Try Too Hard.

Argumentative guy
Be easy going until the opportunity presents itself to disagree. Then disagree, and don't let go. Argue your position zealously. Too zealously. Don't compare anyone to Hitler, but do use some other well-known or obscure Nazi. "I'm those news reports were good enough to make Leni Riefenstahl proud!" The key here is to be on the edge of offensive while remaining outwardly friendly

Just some ideas. Any others?


  1. Guy With Lots of Gas.
    No explanation necessary.

  2. Too brilliant! Might require some preparation, namely the consumption of broccoli, cabbage, and beans ahead of time. Experiment on the quantity and timing of the consumption.