I'm A Horrible Human Being

S: I didn't finish my school work yesterday, so I had to do twice as much today.
Me: Oh, are you home-schooled?
S: Yeah!
Me: Is that why you're so weird?

D: I'm going to school everyone!
Everyone: Bye, D!
Me: Do you have librarian classes tonight?
D: What do you mean? I'm not a librarian.
Me: Oh sorry, it's just that with the way you're dressed...
D: You already made that joke once.
Me: And it's a winner every time! I'm being pretty mean lately. I asked S if she was weird because she was home-schooled.
D: That's pretty mean. But we're all weird, I think.
Me: Yeah. Wait, what? Even me?
D: Yeah, even you.
Me: What's weird about me?
D: You make obscure movie references and quotes.
Me: Don't think you're going to make up for calling me weird by making a veiled compliment.

Good thing neither of them read my blog, or they'd have just called me 'sir.' Apparently, that's the quickest way to get under my skin: Make me feel incredibly old.